I still love you, Brian Fallon

The Gaslight Anthem is one of my all-time favorite bands ever. I found out the other day that their singer, Brian Fallon, is a “devout Christian”. This led to a slight crisis for me, as my immediate reaction was something along the lines of “WHAT CHRISTIANS UGH NOO WHYY UGHH NO OUR LOVE IS OVER”. You might say it was an over-reaction, but that was basically my gut-instinct kicking in. I’ve taken some time to evaluate that reaction and I can honestly say I am disappointed in myself.

Now, I have a lot of friends who would say “Don’t be disappointed in yourself, be disappointed in Brain! Ugh Christians! How can any person who respects other people identify with religion anymore GOD ugh why?”

I get that. It was a long week for me, made worse by some folks who happen to identify as Christians. Does that mean that I should blanket hate all Christians? Wouldn’t that make me just as guilty as I think they are? Let’s back track.

“I don’t hate you, I love you, which is why I want you to stop your disgusting shameful behavior!”

Last Thursday, a gentleman saw fit to post on a (work) website some comments to the effect of “Let’s not forget what history taught us – allowing the gays to be gay will bring damnation on us all!” I had that shit reviewed and deleted asap. My work is super awesome about diversity and not tolerating hateful shit.  I am sure if/when that dude was told how his post was hostile he responded “do you know what else is hostile? HELL!” because then he goes and makes another post, which literally takes bible verses, smashes them up together to make a statement that says that homosexuals SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH.

Now, this is a man whom I have worked with. Face to face, on the phone, over the internet. I’ve had conversations with this dude – he seemed a little weird, but murderous? No way! Now, I have to think “shit, next time I am alone with him, is he going to try and put me to death by hitting me over the head with a laptop? Stabbing me with his monogrammed Bic?” I don’t know!

 Do I really think he’s gonna assault me? No. But the intent is there, all packaged up and hidden behind some bullshit excuse called religion.

Now here’s the thing about this whole situation that upsets me

I was a Christian – I was a Catholic! For a really long time! Voluntarily! My parents didn’t push religion on me – when I begged to go to bible camp in 4^th grade, they were a little taken aback. I went to youth group twice a week, and I volunteered at my church, attending several masses a weekend in order to help out. I read that bible like it was my job, I sang in the worship choir, I fell to my knees sobbing on more than one occasion when my heart felt like bursting over the incredible gift that was Jesus’ sacrifice.

There are times I wish I still felt that way. It is a good feeling to know the answers to everything. It is a good feeling to know that there is an almighty power watching out for you. When I moved to Chicago a month before starting high school, my faith in God is one of the very few things that kept me from going over the edge and just killing myself. My faith in God and The Alkaline Trio are what gave me strength to recover from an eating disorder. As that faith slowly started slipping away from me, my anxiety and depression got worse for a while – they’re ok now, and I’m not saying a lack of faith leads to these things, just that at this time, for me, it did.

When I was 13, I asked my best friend, “What happens to the people that don’t know about Jesus?” Our priest had said that everyone has an opportunity to know Jesus in their life, so everyone has an opportunity to be saved. I was concerned about folks deep in the jungle – if they never met anyone who knew about Jesus, how could they be saved? My friend answered “The bible says one thing over and over. God is love. Jesus is love. If you know love you know Jesus, it doesn’t matter if you call him by name.”

THAT is what Christianity taught me. And now that I’ve left the church (a whole different story) that is one lesson I took with me – not to get all hippie on you – but the most important thing is to love people. And that’s my deal with (some) Christians right now – why ya’ll gotta forget that part? I know hating people is totally way easier than loving them.  Loving people takes WORK. Because sometimes people SUCK. Sometimes they are jerks or they do weird shit that you don’t understand or they don’t like cats (lol whut no way) and it takes way more work to show compassion and empathy for those folks who you don’t like or agree with. But you will feel better, dudes!

Getting off the soapbox and back to my still one true love Brian Fallon

Here’s the thing. If Brian Fallon had said “I’m a Buddhist.” Or “I’m converting to Judaism” I’d have been like “Eh, religion is whacko, but do what you do, girl.” Instead I saw “Christianity” and went “What ugh why fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu”. How does this make me any better than the “Christians” who see “gay” and go “Burn in hell burn in helllllllllllllll”.

It doesn’t. It makes me the same.

So I read this whole interview. And it turns out, Brian Fallon is a pretty f’ing awesome Christian. He’s chill about it, he knows his beliefs, he doesn’t push them on others, and he doesn’t use his band as a megaphone to preach with.
“Yeah, you know with Gaslight I’m not trying to put my agenda across because the other guys don’t share the same beliefs I do. If you’re gonna start talking about things that are of a certain faith you need to have all of the people involved in that being of a certain faith... A house divided can’t stand.”

Reading up on it, Brian’s the kind of Christian I wish other Christians would look up to. And I think that for the most part, the vast majority of Christians are like him. Unfortunately for everyone, it’s the assholes who are the loudest, and they give everyone a bad name. I know some Christians, and they are awesome. They don’t hate gays or women or artists or anything, they just wanna go to church and feel that good feeling. And I think maybe we should give them a break. I hear a lot of clamor from my atheist friends about how the good Christians should hold the bad ones responsible, should yell louder and reform their religions.

Dudes, when did yelling louder than an asshole ever stop him from being an asshole?

Literally never. And I don’t think it’s fair to tell folks who are going through life being awesome and loving in their own way that they are all of a sudden responsible for all these folks just cuz those folks are misinterpreting the shit out of their belief system. I KNOW I am gonna get some shit for writing this. I know that. But just think about how you sound when you are faith bashing, and compare that to the folks yr hating on. It’s starting to get hard to tell the difference. That isn’t how you win a fight, dudes. It’s about being better, not louder. I’ve thrown my fair share of punches on and off the internet, I know how much you want to do it. Chill for a minute, bros.

I fought against saying I was an atheist for a long time – I still don’t really self-identify as one, because I had so many bad experiences with atheists – just as many as I had with fundamentalist Christians. Even after I left the church, the very mention of believing in anything sent my atheist friends into a frenzy, and they were a lot meaner and a lot more hurtful and aggressive than any Christians I’ve met in real life (until last week ugh). Is that what you want? I’m just sayin.